Stephen Larkham: Needs a shot of adrenalin? Stephen Larkham: Needs a shot of adrenalin?
We can’t hear you, Bernie!
“Described as both unconventional and highly versatile, Stephen Larkham’s unpredictability and vision on the field is in stark contrast to his languid and laidback off-the-field demeanour, which has affectionately earned him the nickname ‘Bernie’, after the corpse in Weekend at Bernie’s.”
This is Penguin Books Australia’s explanation of the origins of Larkham’s nickname. And after Saturday night’s match between the Stormers and the Brumbies at Newlands, the Cape media encountered “Bernie” first-hand.
Larkham, obviously deeply disappointed after his team’s defeat against the Stormers, was in full zombie mode after the match. His facial expression never changed, while his tone of voice could be used to cure insomnia.
We all know Larkham’s tone of voice is monotone at the best of times, but during Saturday’s post-match press conference you could barely hear him, and Brumbies flyhalf Christian Lealiifano also asked him if he was okay on a few occasions.
In the movie Weekend at Bernie’s, the corpse at least came to life when he heard music. And I almost wanted to ask the Newlands staff to pump a jam through their sound system to get him going.
Alas, I fear not even a shot of adrenalin to the heart would have worked for old “Bernie” on Saturday. The defeat against the Stormers was clearly too much for him to handle.
It’s a miracle!
Flyhalf Elton Jantjies’ wrist had South Africans, especially those on Twitter, in a bit of a spin this week.
First, there was an outpouring of sorrow when the Lions revealed that he needed surgery after “fracturing” his wrist in their win over the Cheetahs. It was seen as a massive blow, especially for the Springboks, because Jantjies has been in such good form this season.
However, not even a day later, it was discovered that he doesn’t need surgery and would be available to play the Crusaders next weekend.
Eish, how do you go from having a broken wrist the one day, to being able to play the next week? It could be either one or two things.
The first could be that the doctor who looked at the x-ray was maybe still drunk on the public holiday and looked at it upside down.
Or, maybe, Jantjies got his hands on the same “leaves” Waisake Naholo used to heal his broken leg.
If it was the leaves, I certainly hope that same doctor didn’t smoke it when he cleared Jantjies.
Stormers facing the gees
We all know there is nothing like a packed Newlands, especially when the Stormers are going great guns. Newlands was hardly full on Saturday for the match against the Brumbies, but the atmosphere was still very good.
This weekend, the Stormers have to brace themselves for a hostile reception when they enter the Estadio Jose Amalfitani to face the Jaguares.
Last weekend, the home for Velez Sarsfield football club was buzzing during the Argentine side’s first Super Rugby home match against the Chiefs. It was like nothing I had ever experienced in Super Rugby before, at a stadium or on television.
Shame, and the Stormers couldn’t even prepare for all the singing and intimidation of a football stadium in Cape Town, because you only find a guy and his dog at most top-flight matches these days. I mean, not even the dagga smokers attend PSL matches anymore.
What to watch out for
While the Southern Kings have so far shown plenty of fight this year, they have still been conceding 50 points in most of their matches. And that number could double this weekend when they take on a Hurricanes side getting back to their best rugby.
Maybe we should start a new hashtag today ... #PrayForTheKings